The dead cannot cry out for justice; it is a duty of the living to do so for them....

 Lois McMaster Bujold

Thank you for the beautiful graphic Ruth, twin of Jose Carlos Figueira

Visit Lauren's other site:

http://lauren-pacenta.last-memories.com  /

Thank You to the family of Vanessa Borg

Message from Heaven

I have not turned my back on you,
So there is no need to cry,
I am watching you from Heaven,
Just beyond the morning sky;
I have seen you almost fall apart,
When you could barely stand,
I asked the Lord to comfort you,
And I watched him take your hand.
He told me you were in more pain,
Than I could ever be,
He wiped his eyes and swallowed hard,
Then gave your hand to me;
Although you may not feel my touch;
Or see me by your side,
I've whispered that I love you,
While I wiped each tear you cried.
~Author Unknown~

Thank You for the beautiful poem LuAnn, mom of angel Bob Demartino

Thank you Irena Hill, Nanny to precious Kayleigh Erceg

 This memorial site was created with love in celebration of the life of my beloved daughter, Lauren Pacenta, who was born in New York on October 04, 1988 and passed away on November 23, 2005 at the tender age of 17. Thank you for visiting Lauren's site, for the many candles that have been lit and the beautiful graphics. It's so nice to know that we are in your thoughts.

Lauren was the only child of Jo-Ann Pacenta and the late Edward K. Pacenta. She was a 7 pound miracle who brought tremendous joy into our lives. Our lives changed with the birth of this beautiful baby, and we treasured her from the moment she was born.  For months I just wanted to sit and hold her. Priorities changed and she became the incredible focus of our lives. Watching her grow and change and go through the various states of childhood was wonderful - even the terrible twos, which were not so terrible. 

I will always feel truly blessed to be her mother. She was a very kind, thoughtful, loving daughter and she was always very  polite.  She gave me beautiful, thoughtful gifts, wrote special notes, poems and letters to me. We enjoyed being together, and I have so many special memories. We shared so much, both the happiness and the heartaches. When her father passed away, and I would cry, she would hug me and say, "but you still have me." Oh how I wish that were still true. I miss her every moment of every day. She truly was the light of my life and filled my heart with love.
 It has been two long years since Lauren’s death. Time moves in such strange ways now, all the days, weeks, and months, just blend together. Some days the urge to just see Lauren, or to hear her say even one word is so strong, I can hardly bear it. It is a pain no one can begin to understand, unless they’ve lost someone they love. For 17 years, one month and 19 days, I was blessed with a beautiful, loving daughter.

If roses grow in Heaven
Lord, pick a bunch for me.
Place them in Lauren's arms
And tell her they're from me.
Tell her that I love her,
 and I miss her very much,
And when she turns to smile
Place a kiss upon her cheek
And hold her for awhile.
Because remembering her is easy
I do it every day
But there's an ache inside my heart
That will never go away.
~ unknown ~


I light a candle every day
hoping the pain will fade away.
But with the light of each new dawn,
I realize you're still gone.
I miss you Lauren

May this candle burn forever in memory of my beloved daughter. I will love you forever and always Lauren, and I will cherish the memories of you.


Wishing you God's Peace and
many blessings
God bless
~ Jeri ~
(Laquan's mom) 

Lauren touched the lives of many with her kindness, compassion and joy for life. She was a daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend, a girlfriend, and will be forever loved and missed by many.  Her time here was all too brief. She never got to experience graduation from high school, and she will never get to experience college or the love of a special husband and children. All the plans for her future that we spoke of so often are gone.

 My heart just breaks every time I see your beautiful smile.

It doesn't matter how long you've been gone,
Within our hearts you live,
Your love and joy and laughter,
Is the legacy you give.
I see your face in all that I do, but it is so hard to remember your sweet voice
We miss you Lauren

Time does not heal a broken heart.... It is so hard to accept that you won't come walking through the door yelling "I'm home mom."


Thank you for the beautiful graphic Judie,
 mom of Angel Craig Smart
A Message to my Daughter
We walked together, you and I
A Mother and her Daughter
We had Hopes and Dreams for tomorrow.....
But tomorrow didn't come.
We walked together you and I
We talked, we laughed we loved.
We shared so many happy times,
And for that I thank the Lord above.
We walked together, you and I
But only for a short time.
For all too soon it ended
Leaving pieces of a broken heart behind
And even though I miss you
More than words could ever say.
I thank God that I got to walk with you
Every precious moment of every day....
Thank you Irena Hill, it is truly a beautiful message.
http://kayleigh-erceg.memory-of.com

Dear Lauren
If I could have a lifetime wish
A dream that would come true.
I'd pray to God with all my heart
for yesterday and you.
A thousand words can't bring you back.
I know because I've tried.
And neither will a million tears,
 I know because I've cried.
You left behind my broken heart, and happy memories too.
I never wanted memories though,
I only wanted you.
~Author Unknown~

Death is to life as the butterfly is to the cocoon........Fly free sweet angel.



To my precious Lauren

I miss waking you in the morning, knowing that you would always ask for 10 more minutes.

I miss when you would yell down to me to ask what time it was on the kitchen clock.

I miss you calling to me and asking me which shoes looked better with your outfit.

I miss standing across the kitchen island from you as you gulped down something to eat and I drank coffee in the morning.

I miss watching you pull out of the garage - I would throw you a kiss and you would wave and smile. 

I miss coming home and seeing your car in the garage, knowing you were home, or hearing the garage door open and feeling relieved knowing that you had arrived home safely.

I miss the text messages we sent to each other throughout the day.

I miss finding you online during the day and our messages to each other.

I miss coming home and seeing you on the computer or being home and knowing you were in the study on the computer.
 
I miss your loud music, which seemed to make the walls vibrate.

I miss our long talks, either riding in the car or when you would call me to your room or come into my room. I would rub your back and we would talk.

I miss our shopping trips, going out to dinner after church, watching movies together, making smoothies or hot chocolate, baking and cooking together.

I miss sitting on your bed, rubbing your back when you didn't feel well, or just sitting on the stool in your room talking to you.
 
I miss finding notes from you, sometimes in the morning thanking me for something or telling me your problems which were sometimes easier for you to write than to say.
 
I also miss you coming to me when you were upset over the shit happening in school. Even though we spoke of it often, I cannot even imagine how bad it was for you.
 
I miss kissing you good night and hearing you say "I love you Mom" and I would say "I love you too."

I miss your smile, the sound of your voice, the sound of your laugh and looking into your sparkling eyes.

More than anything I miss your presence in the house.

I would give anything to hear one more time: "I'm home mom."

I miss everything about you. Every day is so incredibly hard without you. It so sad that your life was cut short, and that you won't get to live the dreams you had for yourself.  I spray your favorite cologne and I immediately get a vision of you coming into the kitchen in the morning, always smelling so sweet. I never failed to tell you how good you looked or how good you smelled. I was always amazed that you asked my advise and actually liked what I said. Oh how I wish for another morning like those.

I miss you Lauren and I will love you always and forever - Mom


Thank you Candy Lynch (mom to ^i^ Kelly) for the beautiful graphic.
 IF I KNEW
If I knew it would be the last time,
that I’d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly,
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time,
that I would see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss,
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time, I’d hear your voice…
I would video tape each action and word,
So I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I would be there to share your day…
I would not let it slip away.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance,
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you’re waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll surely regret the day,
that you didn’t take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
And you were too busy to grant someone,
What turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them,
and that you’ll always hold them dear.

Take time to say “I’m sorry, Please forgive me;
Thank you; or It’s okay;”
And if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll have no regrets about today.
Author Unknown

 
Sweet Memories

In quiet times I often sit
And find my mind adrift
To another place, another time
And oh! My spirits lift!

I see your happy, smiling face,
And that twinkle in your eye.
I hear you sing your favorite song
And I laugh...and then I cry. 

Inside my heart Sweet Memories
Stay with me each day
I cherish, and I cling to them
For I miss you in every way.

Each thing I see...
Each thing I do, brings you close to me
For everything upon this earth
Brings Sweet Memories of you. 

I imagine our reunion
Some day at heaven's gate
It fills my heart with happiness...
But for now, I'll have to wait. 

Until my life upon this earth
And my work here is complete
Sweet Memories will keep me
Until at last again we meet.
~ Charlotte Anselmo ~


This was the last picture of the two of us together!

Lauren wrote the following poem for me. What could be a more precious gift from a daughter to her mother than the following: 

Mama Bear
My best friend was always there for me when times got rough.
She was someone I could tell my secrets to and someone I could trust.
We shared our wishes, dreams, and fantasies,
We always liked the very same things.
We were together through laughter and together through tears.
For both of us, our friendship is so very dear.
When I needed help she was always there.
When I was upset, she always cared.
Sticking together through school years of hell,
I then knew that we were gonna be best friends always & forever.
Our friendship was like a fairy tale straight from a book.
Not a flaw anywhere, no matter where you looked,
the way a best friend should be forever and ever.
Our love so strong for one another
I'll always love my best friend, for she is my mother.
(©Lauren Pacenta 2005)




Thank you Deborah
Mam to ^i^ Dean Henderson

Lauren was a warm, compassionate, and loving young girl who will be and is truly missed. She is deeply loved by her family. May she rest in peace and may God continue to send his healing love to her family and friends.
We miss you Lauren

Thank you Dianne White, mother of precious angel Nicholas. This is so beautiful and incredibly thoughtful. ((many hugs to you))

Lauren was born on a Tuesday, and according to Mother Goose, "Tuesday's child is full of Grace." And she was. When she entered this world, she brought amazing love and happiness to all of us. She was a gift from God, perfect, with 10 little toes, 10 tiny fingers, a tiny bit of hair, and puffy cheeks. We felt truly blessed. 

I loved her from the moment she was placed upon my chest. Love grows, and as she entered each new phase of her life, I read whatever I could so I would be  prepared and maybe understand what she was experiencing.  I was and am so proud of her, we had a wonderful relationship, except for the normal mother-daughter disagreements and some major battles that go along with the teenage years. Whenever we had a disagreement, I would ask afterward, "Now what could we have done differently so we would not have had to fight or What could I have said differently........."  It used to drive her crazy when I did this, but we learned from it.  We never went to bed angry and we always said "I love you" to one another before going to bed.  It was so important to both of us.  When she was younger, we always read before she went to sleep, I remember the night she asked if she could read. It may seem insignificant, but it was one of those changing milestones in her life and mine.  After that she would read most nights, unless she was really tired, then we would take turns. She loved animals and her favorite book was about dogs. We read it over and over and over and over.....

Since she was an only child, I wanted to involve her in activities where she would have an opportunity to socialize with other children. We joined a play group when she was very young and this group stayed together for several years, planning our schedules around our playgroup. She went to nursery school and spent many happy summers at Camp Kiwi in Mahopac, NY.  Most of all, she loved our neighbors (Alicia, Nina, Nicky and Maria)  and spent countless hours with them. She thought of them more as an extended family than friends. She dearly loved them as well as their parents.


Where is Nicky??

Lauren graciously gave us seventeen years of memories and smiles. As she grew into a beautiful young woman she continued to carry her childhood outlook on life with her..... She left us with her gifts of compassion and caring, even though she faced her own personal challenges. She tried so hard to overcome her depression and other difficulties, but Lauren was bright, athletic, beautiful, funny and had a smile that would light up a room. 

She was always ready for a New Adventure
For Lauren, life meant that there was always something exciting to discover, and close friends with whom to spend that precious time.  She loved just being a kid, dressing up in goofy outfits with Charmene and Cassie; playing ding, dong, ditch; jumping from the snow to the Hot Tub; wading through creeks looking for frogs; searching for bugs in an open field, or running through the neighborhood to visit her friend Derek or down the hill to Ben's, Brittany's or Tasha's. She and Erin and Ben wrote and performed plays at our house and video taped them.  They had such fun and I really enjoyed watching the videos!  We have a trampoline in our back yard, there were many times I looked out the window and saw kids laughing and jumping, but as she got older, there were more times when they surrounded the trampoline, leaned back on the net, just sitting and talking.



She loved animals, flowers and nature .... 
She loved animals and brought baby rabbits, birds and a tiny kitten home to nurse and heal. She had pet rabbits, gerbils, and even tried to bring little white mice home as pets.  She thought she was saving them, because they were to be food for the snakes. We tried to release these little mice in fields, but she and her friend Charmene kept coming back to the car with the little white mice hidden in their coats, and giving themselves away with their giggles.

 Whenever we got a new puppy, it was for Lauren.  Somehow we ended up with four dogs.  Sadie was the one that was truly hers.  Lauren fed her, trained her and loved her.  After Lauren passed away, our Samoyed, Izzy, started taking walks. She had never left the property until then. I think she was searching for Lauren. Sadly, Izzy, passed away several months after Lauren. Lauren often said she didn't remember life without Izzy. Lauren was 17 and Izzy was 15. They were together for a long time.

 Lauren also loved flowers, especially sunflowers and daisies.  We  planted sunflowers in our garden and the following year we waited for them to appear, not knowing they were annuals.  There are fields of sunflowers around here and she loved to see them.  She also liked lilacs and would cut them to bring in the house for their sweet scent. Lauren was so disappointed when we moved and had to leave the lilac bushes behind. She loved bringing me flowers, even though sometimes they were from someone else's garden.

School....................
Throughout her years in school she tried many activities.  She tried music, playing various instruments, encouraged by a teacher who is no longer at the school. Her braces and other oral appliances made it difficult for her to continue.  She also tried concert choir, but finally decided music was not her thing, although she did take guitar lessons and enjoyed the guitar.  She took gymnastics and had great potential, but when asked to train for competition, we decided it was too much of a time commitment. She played soccer, tried tennis but found her sport in running, particularly cross country.  She seemed to peak in her junior year. She loved being part of the team and she enjoyed her teammates.

My Cross Country Runner!!
She also ran track and lettered in track when she had mononucleosis, which was quite an accomplishment. She loved to ski and was a member of the school's ski club.  She especially loved skiing with her friends Eric and Stephen. On one of our vacations, she tried bungie jumping.  I was so afraid for her, I couldn't watch, but she loved it and went again and again.

Lauren died in her senior year, and did not get a chance to graduate. The school, however, did grant her a diploma. I was in such pain, I was 500 miles away and my two nieces accepted the diploma. There was a standing ovation when Lauren's name was read and my nieces accepted her diploma. Thank you to the class of 2006. I appreciate all that the superintendent did to have her diploma granted.

She loved writing, poetry, photography and her first job........
She was a creative writer, and for a long time wanted to be a journalist when she graduated.   She loved poetry and wrote many poems.  Unfortunately she threw away many of her poems and short stories, because she didn't think they were very good.  She also enjoyed taking photos and was always asking for a new camera or equipment, and of course borrowing mine. In the spring of 2005 she got a job at The Purple Cow and loved both the job and the people with whom she worked. She was looking forward to returning in the spring when they reopened. 

Lauren wrote the following poem, which was included in her funeral service. A few months following her death, I submitted the poem to the Faulkner Society Literary  Contest (Poetry). She (her poem) was a finalist in the competition. I am so proud of her and I can just imagine how excited she would have been.
Leaves in the Wind
Now in this late hour, I look back and feel
the winds of time roaring past.
Wishing for things that could never be,
seem now like leaves of Autumn
gathering and then gone with the wind.
Bits and pieces of time, pictures in my
mind, only I can see.
All here one day and then gone the next.
Beware, all who tread here,
for time is precious, and if not well spent,
will scatter like leaves in the wind.
By: Lauren Elizabeth Pacenta © 2005
(I am so incredibly proud of you Lauren! I wish your teachers could have seen your talent.)


Lauren's car
Oh how she loved to drive..............
When she turned 16 she couldn't wait to get her permit and learn to drive.  Within 7 months she had her license and was driving.  She loved to drive and it gave her such a feeling of independence, but of course it caused me concern as I am sure it has many other parents when their children begin driving.  I always stood in the garage and watched her pull out and leave.  I would blow her a kiss and she would look back and smile.  I missed driving her places and all the long talks we had on those drives.

She had Goals and Dreams.........
She was so excited about her senior year, running cross country, skiing with Stephen and Eric, graduating, and moving on to college. We had visited  Marywood University just two weeks before her death and she was excited about going to Marywood and majoring in psychology. She had changed her goal and wanted to major in psychology and work with teenagers.

She loved her family and friends.................
Holidays were very special to Lauren and she always wanted to either have a picnic or party at home or travel to relatives to celebrate. We traveled to New Jersey many times to celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter with her Uncle Kevin, Aunt Karen and she always loved being with her cousins. They were always so good to her. We also traveled to North Carolina to be with her Uncle Cliff and Aunt Jane and their family and she always enjoyed the visits and especially our shopping sprees in Raleigh.  She has cousins in New York and we had not seen them for awhile and she was so excited when she and her cousin Kerry found each other on myspace.  Nick, Dylan and Lauren spent much time together, playing games, spying on the adults and blowing bubbles.  When Lauren's father passed away, her cousins Heather and Stacey came to stay with us to help me.  They stayed on and off for many years and to Lauren they were more like sisters than cousins

Thank you for the beautiful angel Dianne
Mom of ^i^ Nicholas White.

Dear Lauren,
I hope you know how much you are cherished and how deeply you are loved and missed.

Thank you Monica Davis
Mom to Angel R.J. (Robert Joshua) Davis

My dear sister Jeanie had a locket made for me for Christmas, similar to the locket sent by Monica. Thank you Jeanie, I love you, and I wear it almost every day.


You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
-David Harkins


Thank you to my dear sister Crystal
When Lauren was younger, she and her cousins, Nick and Dylan, would spend hours blowing bubbles. We bought the stuff by the gallon. They laughed and enjoyed themselves tremendously.

They also played spy games with equipment we had bought for them. They could hide and listen to our conversations, but we always knew they were there, hiding, because they gave themselves away with their giggles.


Thank you LuAnn Mom of ^i^ Bob Demartino

She loved baking!

Oh, how she loved her art!


Thank you Margarita Santiago for the beautiful angel.


When you were born you cried
and we rejoiced.
When you died you rejoiced
and we cried.


Thank You Jeri, mom of Angel Laquan

The years of her presence are as short as a day. A day of her absence is as long as years.”                     -Ibn Al Fharid.

Thank you Rosemary, sis of Alvin Cremeans, Jr.


We were a small family of three.  The happiest days of my life were my wedding day and the day Lauren was born.  I will remember both these days always and forever as well as my beloved daughter and husband who are together again.

Thank you Crystal, I love you


To My Beloved Husband, Ed:    
 You are forever in my heart and I love you today and everyday. You were and are my soul mate.  Lauren and I talked about you every day of her short life. I wanted her to know all about you. She was so young.  One Christmas when I was missing you so much, our dear Lauren gave me a photo display of you with the words "When someone we love becomes a memory, their memory becomes a treasure."  You would have been so proud of her. She was kind, compassionate and very loving. She was also so much like you. We loved you and I miss you both so much. Please be with her.

Artwork by Thomas Kincaid

Lauren knew how much I loved Thomas Kincaid and bought me a book titled "The Home You Made for Me". A beautiful book of artwork by Thomas Kincaid, and inspirational quotes, poems and Bible verses. It was truly a thoughtful and beautiful gift.

"Oh what a power is motherhood, possessing a potent spell. All women alike fight fiercely for a child."
~EURIPIDES~
Maybe that is why she called me "Mama Bear"


Thank you Candy Lynch, mom of ^i^ Kelly

Because of the tender mercy of our God...
     the rising sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness
     and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the path of peace.
                                                Luke 1: 78-79



This was Lauren's favorite picture, she has it as the background on her computer.


Oh how Lauren loved being with her father. She loved to help him outside, to watch and help him in the garden and to cut wood for the fireplace. He cut the wood small, it worked better in the fireplace, but also Lauren was able to help him carry the wood. I would stand at the window and watch the two of them, with such love and pride in my heart.  After her father passed away, she would smile and just be so proud when I told her how much she resembled her father - she loved the things he loved .  He was a terrific chef, and Lauren was very creative, loved cooking and baking.  He loved to read poetry and she loved to both write and read poetry. she loved the food he loved, ...and the list goes on. ..How does a child ever come to terms with the loss of a parent at such a young age?

The two loves of my life, gone from this earth, but not from my heart.
Tear drops with roses - oh how many tears I have shed over the loss of my two loves, and
roses have always symbolized love. 

Isn't she precious!
********************
I Still Feel Your Love
I know you’re gone from this earth
You left me way too soon
But I feel your love every time
I gaze up at the moon.
Sometimes I think I hear
A whisper in the wind
It sounds as if you’ve called my name
As your love to me you send.

Sometimes I do a silly thing
And your laughter fills my ears
I know you’re right here with me
But I can’t see you through my tears.
I felt your hand upon my shoulder
And I quickly turned to see
Visible... you were not
But I know you’re here with me.

In the night you sometime come
To visit in my dreams
My hands go out to touch you
But you’re just out of reach it seems.
For just